Sex, contraception, identity...oh my! When you love talking sex and identity, like Emily and Melanie do, obstacles fall to the wayside.
Welcome to ”The Story We Share,” a series of Q&As that profile two people with similar identities ― but who live in very different places. As part of HuffPost’s Listen To America tour, we’re exploring how people’s lived experiences overlap and diverge depending on their zip codes. What is the “American Experience?” It depends where you look.
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Nearly half of U.S. teenagers say they’ve had sex. But according to data from the National Conference of State Legislatures, only 24 states and the District of Columbia require that public schools teach sex education.
Still fewer states stipulate that if provided, sex education must be factual and medically accurate. A recent report of New York City schools found that even in places where sex education is required, students still might not be receiving the invaluable curriculum.
Emily Feher and Emily Lucash are sex educators in Mississippi and Massachusetts, respectively. Mississippi requires public school districts to adopt a sex education policy that’s either abstinence-only or “abstinence-plus.” The state is also one of just four in the country where sex education curriculum is taught on an “opt in” basis, requiring parental consent before a child can receive instruction.
Massachusetts doesn’t mandate whether or not districts teach sex ed. But it does stipulate that where sex education is offered it must be medically accurate and age appropriate, and, as in most states, parents have the option of opting their children out.
Emily Feher grew up in Southern California and now teaches sex education and health in Mississippi.
Despite patchy access to medically accurate sex education, the U.S. teen pregnancy rate has steadily declined over the years, reaching a record low in 2016, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. In 2015, 229,715 babies were born to women between the ages of 15 to 19 years old ― a drop of 8 percent from 2014.
Mississippi and Massachusetts have some of the highest and lowest teen birth rates in the country, respectively. In 2014, Mississippi tied with Oklahoma for the second-highest teen birth rate in the U.S., at nearly 35 births per 1,000 girls. Massachusetts had the lowest rate, at roughly 9 births per 1,000 teens.
Growing up on opposite ends of the country ― Feher in California and Lucash in New Jersey ― both educators developed a passion for public health and sex literacy. Feher completed undergraduate and graduate degrees in Southern California and spent time living and teaching reproductive health in Cameroon and India. She made her way to Mississippi to begin working at a teen health clinic, always having been curious about life in the South.
Lucash went to college in Georgia then on to graduate school in Indiana, throughout which time she delved deeper into a passion for sexual health advocacy and sexual violence prevention that had developed during high school. Several opportunities at sexual health nonprofits ultimately brought her to Massachusetts.
Melanie Lucash grew up in New Jersey and now teaches sex education and health in Massachusetts.
Feher and Lucash now work in two very different states, but their experiences reveal challenges and rewards that are both unique and shared.
What was your own experience of sex education like when you were growing up?
Emily (Mississippi): I didn’t get a whole lot. I grew up going to public school in Southern California, and we got our standard puberty education in maybe fourth or fifth grade. Something short happened in 7th grade during science class where we learned a little bit about STIs, and there was a very short discussion about condoms. It was pretty superficial. We didn’t go too in depth about healthy relationships or communication or anything like that. Most of my sex education growing up primarily came from what I learned from my peers. I would say that was my main source.
Melanie (Massachusetts): I had an experience that I’ve found is pretty common, which is that we didn’t talk about sexuality a whole lot with my family. Once I borrowed a friend’s book ― an American Girl book called The Care and Keeping Of You. I had that book when I was probably 12 or 13, and I hid it under my bed. I would read it over and over and over again to learn about the things going on in my own experience, and see whether I was normal. I find that’s a really common experience, people seeking out their own resources, and this hush hush tone of talking about sexuality.
I went to a small, all-girls Catholic high school in New Jersey where sex ed was pretty limited in terms of what kinds of information they could give us. My classmates and I talked a lot about the relationships we were having and milestones we were reaching. When I got to my
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